Navonim - The Ramblings of Garnel Ironheart

Navonim - The Ramblings of Garnel Ironheart

Monday, 31 January 2011

More Things That Make You Say "Huh?"

So I was working overnight Saturday to Sunday and around 1 am the ambulance and police (never a good sign when they're together) come with with a guy and his heavily bandaged head.  There were a few different versions of the story depending on who you asked but the final synthesis seems to be this.
He was in a bar drinking heavily when he decided to sweet talk a girl next to him.  In response the girl pulled out some pepper spray and let fly in his face.  Then her boyfriend, to add injury to insult, pulled out some kind of axe and whacked him across the forehead leaving him with as deep a gash as one can without actually penetrating the skull.  Naturally arteries were involved so there was blood spritzing everywhere while I was suturing him up but I just couldn't get it out of mind afterwards.
I mean, I can understand the pepper spray.  A girl has to watch out for herself, after all.  I can understand the boyfriend who feels the need to be violent in order to protect a threat to his relationship.  After all, this was probably one of the seedier bars in town and lots of alcohol had been consumed by all involved.  I can even understand the guy's wife who told him "Oh just stay at your friend's place andcome home in the morning when you're sobre."
But an axe?!
Who takes an axe to a night out on the town?  Even a knife I could understand. One reads about knife fights all the time, never mind guns.  But an axe?  For what?  In case the bar's cold and you need to chop wood to make a fire to heat it up?  What on earth was that doing there?


Shades of Grey said...

Interesting, amusing, and horrifying all mixed together. A knife is easily concealed (pocket, boot, belt) but where would someone hide an ax, even a smaller one?

Bartley Kulp said...

It reminds me of the story of an individual who was getting sloshed in a local neighborhood tavern. He finally looked at his watch and saw that it was already 2:30 AM. He thought I better get home because my wife is gonna kill me!

He hailed the bartender in order to pay his tab and turned to get off of the bar stool. He was very dizzy and when he attempted to stand up his knees buckled and he fell straight to the floor. Determined he said to himself " I'm ok I just have to get home". He then crawled on his knees while occasionally propping himself along on the backs of chairs until he made it to the door.

The 2 block trip that normally took only a few minutes became an agonizing twenty five minute adventure while he hobbled on his knees, collapsing every couple of meters. Cursing and swearing he finally made it to his house. He then let himself in with his key.

When he got inside he found that his wife was fast asleep. This was very much to his relief because he promised his wife that he would not be drinking again. He then crawled to the bathroom to wash up and gargle with some mouth wash lest his wife smell anything suspicious. Finally he was ready to crawl into bed. He did so as gently as possible so as not to wake his wife up.

The next morning at about 10 AM he is woken up with a rude slap and sees his wife scowling over him. She then accusingly yelled at him, "You were drinking again last night!" Startled he defensively asked her "Calm down and what makes you say that love?" She then continued "I just got a phone call from Merving's Pub a couple of minutes ago and they said that you forgot your wheel chair there again last night!"

Mike S. said...

I am reminded of a story I heard in the 1970's from the son-in-law of the Rabbi of a shul I davened in at the time. He (the s-i-l) was a doctor (resident??) in the ER of one of the big hospitals of what was, at that time a seedy area of Brooklyn (King's County, IIRC.)They had two separate waiting areas (or lines or something) one for the 24 hour clinic and one for real emergencies. He saw a man waiting for the 24 hour clinic with an ax sticking out of (or should I say in to) his head. Doctor suggested he could go to the emergency line, and was told: "It's OK, I can wait."

Anonymous said...

Perhaps he pulled it off the wall next to the fire hydrant?